If only I could tell her this --
No need to tell me, I probably know more than you do. No need to be jealous. I am just who you said I am after all.
But no, not my place to do so. I'll let things be. I hope she truly loves him and accepts everything about him. Even the bad. Because I do. There's a lot I know and just shrugged off. I didnt bring it up anymore because thats how he is. What's the difference now? I thought he'd changed. Because he did, in some ways. I guess when it comes to her he wont say the truth. So should I continue to believe and hold on to what he said before? I really dont know. Only he knows. Or maybe he doesnt know too. I know he's still lost and I said I will help him find his way. But does he want to? It doesnt seem so... His mind changes more frequent than mine does. I know he doesnt mean to do things that hurt but thats how he is. He is my dr jekyl and hyde. I wanna hug him tight and tell him I'll just be here...that the anger will go away but I wont...but I know he's mad too.
It will be a challenge to be professional and talk to him abt work but I'm up for it. I know how our relationship affects our work. I know how he hates it when I dont act professionally. I will...because I guess thats my purpose in his life. Work related. I guess thats it. Nothing else. Because if it was more than that, why do I have to keep fighting for a spot in his life? He fell in love with royalty when I was just there for him...so I guess am not good enough...
I dunno...a lot of thoughts on my mind. I dont wanna think anymore. And feel. Because it hurts like hell. My mind tells me to let go but my heart doesnt want to. Because my heart wont give up on him, because underneath all that is a guy who just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is or for who he shows himself to be. I do...but i dont think he sees it. :(
No need to tell me, I probably know more than you do. No need to be jealous. I am just who you said I am after all.
But no, not my place to do so. I'll let things be. I hope she truly loves him and accepts everything about him. Even the bad. Because I do. There's a lot I know and just shrugged off. I didnt bring it up anymore because thats how he is. What's the difference now? I thought he'd changed. Because he did, in some ways. I guess when it comes to her he wont say the truth. So should I continue to believe and hold on to what he said before? I really dont know. Only he knows. Or maybe he doesnt know too. I know he's still lost and I said I will help him find his way. But does he want to? It doesnt seem so... His mind changes more frequent than mine does. I know he doesnt mean to do things that hurt but thats how he is. He is my dr jekyl and hyde. I wanna hug him tight and tell him I'll just be here...that the anger will go away but I wont...but I know he's mad too.
It will be a challenge to be professional and talk to him abt work but I'm up for it. I know how our relationship affects our work. I know how he hates it when I dont act professionally. I will...because I guess thats my purpose in his life. Work related. I guess thats it. Nothing else. Because if it was more than that, why do I have to keep fighting for a spot in his life? He fell in love with royalty when I was just there for him...so I guess am not good enough...
I dunno...a lot of thoughts on my mind. I dont wanna think anymore. And feel. Because it hurts like hell. My mind tells me to let go but my heart doesnt want to. Because my heart wont give up on him, because underneath all that is a guy who just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is or for who he shows himself to be. I do...but i dont think he sees it. :(
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