A couple of weeks ago, someone gave me a challenge. To learn something I've avoided for the entire duration of my BPO life - be a trainer, a competitive one at that. I took on the challenge, knowing I had someone I trusted who could and would help me every step of the way. Last Monday, more pressure was added when I was told there was a lot at stake and I can't fail this challenge. Unfortunately, as 2014 ended and 2015 came in, LG and I are still not in good terms and I don't think we will be. Which brings me to my current dilemma - how will I do this? My insecurity has surfaced once again, especially now that am thinking LG deserves this post, not me. It doesn't feel right, he deserves this more than I do.
And to make matters worse, G has offered to give me the TQM post with an SDM pay if I stay. As N would say, that's new to the game. Wait, what game? There is no game for me. Unfortunately, there is and I have to play.
Half of me wants to back out and give the post to LG. It would also make our lives easier as we go our separate ways. I won't bother him anymore as there would be no reason for us to interact and he'd be glad to be rid of me. No more stalker in his life, yay for him. But I can't turn my back on N, me changing my mind would mess up his plans.
Decisions, decisions...am at the current state of just leaving everything and starting anew. A coward's way out.
I need time away to think. I need someone to talk to, someone who understands and someone who's sensible. Eh there's no one anymore.
Demmit.
And to make matters worse, G has offered to give me the TQM post with an SDM pay if I stay. As N would say, that's new to the game. Wait, what game? There is no game for me. Unfortunately, there is and I have to play.
Half of me wants to back out and give the post to LG. It would also make our lives easier as we go our separate ways. I won't bother him anymore as there would be no reason for us to interact and he'd be glad to be rid of me. No more stalker in his life, yay for him. But I can't turn my back on N, me changing my mind would mess up his plans.
Decisions, decisions...am at the current state of just leaving everything and starting anew. A coward's way out.
I need time away to think. I need someone to talk to, someone who understands and someone who's sensible. Eh there's no one anymore.
Demmit.
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