The End of the Line

There comes a point in our lives when we say it's the end of the line. I think I'm at that point. It doesn't mean I no longer have the same feelings. It just means I have let go of the hope that things will turn out the way I want it to. Pain has made me accept that things won't change and the past has taken its' toll. I will always be haunted by the past and I will always be the person he hates the most, be the stalker he despises and be too annoying for him. I will never be the special girl in his eyes, the one who'll make him happy or even smile when he's down. Never be the person he'll call when he's down and out or lonely and just needs someone to talk to. He won't be the one to give me a hug to make me feel better when I'm down or be the one to ask how I am or how my day was.

He will always have a special place in my heart and I will always take care of him, never turning my back on him, no matter how annoying he may be. Or how bad his mood may be. I accept him for who he is and I should let him go, should stop hurting him, us. Stop clinging to him when he wants to be free. I will always love him...but it's time for me to accept defeat and move on, start loving myself more and just work on getting rich (haha!) Time for me to stop pretending we could be happy with the setup we had before, that I could wait until he believes in commitment. I see now that it's not going to happen. He prefers to be free and not tied down to anyone, be with anyone he likes.. And I will let him be, let him live his life as he chooses, I will support him. Better to love him from a distance so that he doesn't feel controlled. I should be happy and contented that he loves me as a friend and will always have a special place in his heart. Unrequited love always hurts...

He will always be my best friend, a special friend..my greatest love, my sweetest downfall.

I love you LG.