Hurting

It really hurts. Because I dont know what I did. Is it because he doesnt believe I went home straight? The more it hurts. I want to understand what I did to make him be like this. It hurts that he rejected the food. I prepared it for him. I would understand if it was because I did something to hurt him, like what I did last week. But I really dont know. And him thinking I'd lie? He made me feel how my mom makes me feel. When I say the truth and yet I'm doubted. Where did it come from? Why the trust issue now? What did I do??? He can ask anyone even my mom and PG...they can attest that I was home even before 10pm. A part of me asks why I would have to go to that extent. I guess because I want him to believe me. Another part asks why he would think that way. Makes me question how tarnished I've become in his eyes.

Am not sick and tired of his moods. Am just hurt. Because I really dont know what I did wrong to make him be like this...I dont know if I can look at him tonight or ask him to smoke or have coffee. It hurts too much. He has always been the only one...I stopped communication with all the rest.. It didnt even cross my mind to text D and make him aya inom. That would make me unfaithful to LG, even if we're not together.

Haist. I hope this all makes sense soon. I know there is a reason underneath it all...I just hope I find out.